Being a guy is hard. You live in constant fear of being roped into conversations about men’s fashion. If females are discussing trends, feel free to ignore them. But, what if a friend tells you you’re wearing the wrong shoes for the occasion? What if company is discussing pocket squares? What if your boss asks what you think about his bow tie? (Maybe you shouldn’t answer that last one) How should a man conduct himself in these situations if he doesn’t know French from barrel cuffs?
Luckily, faking fashion knowledge is pretty easy. Just follow these steps and GQ will be pounding on your door for an interview.
1. Name drop. Avoid designers like Armani, Prada, etc. Everyone knows them, plus, only women talk about fashion designers. 
Instead, know the “good stores” for men. Say you get your clothes at Brooks Brothers, (classic, sported by presidents) Topman, (newer, based in UK) or Uniqlo (Japanese). Thrift shopping is fine, but tread Goodwill with careful steps. For added bonus points, say Hermes (they sell expensive ties) a lot.
2. Know how to pronounce Hermes. First time I pronounced it, I said “Her-meez.” Nope, it’s literally “Er-Mace.” You know, it’s French. Saying more French fashion words could make you sound even more knowledgeable, but, unless you’re fluent from two years of instruction in high school, stick to “Er-Mace.
3. Say sartorial a lot. Technically it means relating to tailored clothes, but can encompass a general sense of fashion. However, it’s 10x better than saying “fashion,” because women like fashion. Men like “sartorial issues.”
4. Point out men whose clothes don’t fit them. This step is easy, since so many men wear clothes that are too big. Primarily, the shoulders don’t fit. Not only that, but the “modern,” aka, skinny, look is in right now, so don’t be afraid to expand your criticism from passersby to coworkers and family.
5. Decry “casual Fridays.” When writing about fashion, it’s customary to begin by reminiscing about the 50s and 60s, when hats and tie clips were mandatory dress for men. Then hippies, punk rock and the power-suit era happened. “Casual Fridays” are the nail in the sartorial coffin. (See what I did there? If not, refer back to point 4) Position yourself as a lone warrior, fighting the evils of khakis and polos in the workplace.
Here’s a couple sample phrases to get you started:
“Oh, this Brooks Brothers tie? It’s a classic I got off eBay.”
“I wrapped up my trip to Europe with a stop at Hermes.”
“Business casual does not imply oversized company polos…I’m going into sartorial heart arrest.”
Brooks Brothers Photo credit: Make A Wish Foundation
Hermes photo credit: Parfumeriata
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Well done.
I would add “aesthetic” as in, “He favored the J Press aesthetic over the Italian ‘Fare figura’ not so much because the Press lines were cleaner but because flat front pants didn’t make his butt look big.”
I would respond by decrying the improper waist lines of today’s youth. Pants, good sir, are meant to be worn at the natural waist!
I was doing some research for a theatre wardrobe and came across your informative necktie timeline. However in the 1920s slot you state that Macclesfield is a district of London. Macclesfield is a town in Northern England (200 miles is a log distance in England). It is famed for it’s silk weaving -at one time being the world’s biggest producer of finished silk.